Let me introduce @kimsingleton.solutions !
This lady right here has a story that many of us can relate to, and I am excited to feature her on my blog! Please take some time and get to know her, I promise you will feel connected to her and relate to her story.
I created this Interview Series to help people connect and show that there are a lot of us out there with similar stories. Our journeys affect us differently but I hope knowing that there is someone who may understand your story just a little bit, can provide support and a sense of not being alone!
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This Is Me. . .
- Tell me a little bit about yourself.
I’m Kim, a 30-something military wife, mommy to our little miracle, Savannah, and healthy living enthusiast.
I’ve been following different types of blogs since 2012 and have loved how they can be a source of both helpful information as well as personal connection. My first blog, Living in Bliss, showcased my journey as a newlywed navigating my way through the first few years of marriage, learning about the army “lifestyle”, and enduring both a pregnancy loss and fertility issues.
My old posts make me cringe (and laugh!), but writing has always been very therapeutic to me. Those years were a very trying time in my life- a period of uncertainty, heartache, vulnerability, and confusion, and I’m grateful for the online friendships I made through it.
Fast forward to present day, nearly four years later. I’m still the girl trying to find her place in the world, but so much has change. I have changed.
Between two cross-country moves since 2017, becoming more confident in my role as mommy, countless TDYs (military separations), dabbling in hobbies both personally and professionally, experiencing the ebbs and flows of marriage, currently struggling once again with infertility, and finally facing some inner demons, my life paints a much different picture.
Seeing that I’ve always needed a creative outlet of some sort, and with my ever-evolving interests and desire to chronicle my life in this season of my life – our struggles, adventures, and everything in between – Kim Singleton Solutions was born. Here is what you can expect in this little corner of mine:
Clean living- avoiding toxins & embracing safer beauty, skincare, and household products; fueling our bodies with wholesome and minimally processed foods; and staying active, and maintaining an alcohol-free lifestyle.
Intentional Living- freeing yourself from unnecessary clutter & distraction, cultivating a life aligned with your goals & purpose, and supporting your emotional and mental health.
Sustainable Living- becoming more aware of resource consumption, learning about zero waste, and embracing conscious consumerism.
I believe that healthy living is all encompassing. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are equally important and interconnected- they all need to be attended to in order to maintain a balanced lifestyle. I’m not here to preach or act like I have it all figured out. I’m simply here to share my family’s ongoing journey towards clean living- every aspect of it!
Infertility . . .
- What is one thing you would like for the non-infertility community to know or to understand?
Infertility is filled with sadness. Hope. Loneliness. Anger. Anxiety. Frustration. Denial. Guilt. Depression. Marital distress. Shame. Bargaining. Jealousy. Feelings of inadequacy/failure. HEARTACHE. It is an emotional rollercoaster and our thoughts and feelings can change quickly.
If a loved one or friend is going through infertility, I encourage you to choose your words wisely and think about what would bring you comfort if the tables were turned.
We don’t expect sympathy or anyone to understand, but just simply listening and asking how we are doing will brighten our day. It’s a sensitive topic and although some couples may not want to talk about it, avoiding the issue only makes us feel more alone in this journey.
- What advice can you give to a woman who is just starting her infertility journey?
Try as hard as you can to not get overwhelmed. You will be introduced to a TON of information and new lingo, and it will be daunting if you try to process all of this right away.
I also suggest not Googling everything. Everyone has different diagnoses and reacts differently to medication and procedures, and what works for one couple may not work for another even if the situation seems similar. I experienced a lot of disappointment Googling too much and comparing our journey to other couples.
Motherhood/Motherhood after Infertility . . .
- How old are you and at what age did you start your infertility journey? Tell me a little bit about your journey.
I am 34 right now and we started our infertility journey when I was 27/28. After experiencing a missed miscarriage in 2013 (I was 27 at the time), we ended up having trouble getting pregnant again.
We tried for nine cycles before my husband unexpectedly deployed in July 2014, but during that time, I was on fertility medication (Clomid and Femara) and we were going though testing.
He returned home in April 2015 and we started trying again right away with the same protocol. After seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist in August 2014, we decided to move forward with IVF and were scheduled to start in October. I got pregnant naturally (albeit taking supplements) in September and our daughter was born the following May. It was a true miracle.
We started trying for baby #2 a month before our daughter’s first birthday. So many people told us it was easier to get pregnant the second time around, so I was expecting for it to happen right away. Months passed, and after about eight months of trying using OPKs and supplements, I was referred to a fertility specialist.
We went through the same routine as before- tons of lab work and procedures and were diagnosed with unexplained infertility once again. I did not try Clomid this time around as it thinned my lining and caused cysts, but I did so many rounds of Femara. We eventually moved on to Gonal-F in conjunction with natural conception since Tricare does not cover anything beyond timed intercourse.
My body responded beautifully, but we were unsuccessful in the four rounds we did. After many heart-to-heart talks, we decided not to move forward with IUI or IVF. The chances of conceiving were way too low try IUI and seeing that it’s between 1-2k a cycle depending on where you go (our doctor was about 2k), we didn’t want to risk it.
And because we already have an amazing little girl, we did not want to put ourselves in debt with trying IVF. It was an extremely difficult and emotional decision, but I had already been through three years of heartache (almost four and a half with taking our struggle before our daughter into consideration), and enough was enough.
Additionally, military life adds another obstacle when battling infertility with separations that civilian families typically do not have to deal with. Lastly, while I’m grateful for the medical care we receive, I truly hope that Tricare covers more advanced infertility treatment one day. No one should have to go into so much debt trying to have a baby.
Military Spouse/ Military Life. . .
- Since becoming a military spouse how has your idea of your life changed? Did you always know you’d be a part of the military or is this life completely different than what you imagined your life would be?
He was prior enlisted and decided to go back in after he graduated. We had been dating for a year and a half at this point and had a long-distance relationship for a year while he was away at training.
I had absolutely no idea I’d be a part of the military community when we first met- I thought that chapter of his life was behind him, and it’s pretty uncommon to be in the military where we’re from.
However, I knew there was something special about him and we kept truckin’ along. He proposed in April 2012 and got married at the El Paso courthouse two months later; we actually woke up the morning on June 26th and had no idea we would tie the knot that afternoon! We’ll celebrate our 8th anniversary next month.
I certainly view life much differently that I did before becoming involved with the military. “Adapt and overcome” and “hurry up and wait” are often joked about, but they’re so true!
It’s almost impossible to make plans more than a few months out and I’ve learned that things will change at least a few times. This life is completely different than what I imagined for myself, and while there are definitely pros and cons, I have come to view it as more of an adventure (although that idea goes out the door during a deployment, LOL).
- What’s one positive about being a military spouse?
One positive is the ability to see the country, and sometimes even the world, that we otherwise may not have seen. We’ve been stationed at some not-so-ideal places, but we explored the areas around them and have many great memories. And though I’m not a super social person, it’s neat to meet people from all over.
- What’s one negative about being a military spouse?
Deployments and TDY’s are obvious, so I won’t say that 😊 Moving every couple of years can get exhausting. Just when you really get to know an area and make connections, it’s time to move on.
- Which duty station has been your favorite to live and why?
Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville, Alabama. I was initially disappointed when we received news that was his next assignment (although it was very good for his career!) simply because of the location, but I ended up loving it there! It’s about two hours from Nashville, an hour from Birmingham, five hours from the ocean, and nine hours from our hometown. The weather was great and there was a lot to do. It was the only place that truly felt “home” to me!
Please Go Show Her Some Support!!
My website is https://www.kimsingletonsolutions.com
IG: @kimsingleton.solutions