A Vulnerable Mom with a Strong Message

Moving is hard enough but when it comes to finding babysitters to care for your child, it can be one of the most difficult items on the moving list

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As a military spouse moving (a link to great packing labels) is a part of our reality, one I have never really enjoyed, I hate packing (a link- packing list) lol and being away from my family has also been hard for me. This life comes with a lot of give and take, and I had come to terms with this until we had our son. Everything changed when he entered the picture because now all the challenges this life can bring will also affect him and me as his mom.

I made this video after I had dropped him off at a new babysitter’s house and the weight of constantly having to find a new care giver just got to me this day.

Our son actually adjusts pretty quickly since he’s been bounced around to different babysitters since he was born, literally in his short 3 years of being alive he has had 7 different care givers.

When he was born, we got very lucky with his first ever babysitter when I had to go back to work when he was 6 months old. Going back to work as a new mom was insanely hard, you’d think spending every waking moment with this tiny being would make you want to run back to work lol and I actually loved going back but those first few shifts, this mama bear was a hot emotional mess.

So, our first babysitter was a true blessing because she just understood what I needed from her and went above and beyond to help ease me into this phase of motherhood.

After about 8 months with her, we pcs’d to AL for my husband to attend flight school, we were there for 18 months, and pierce went to 3 different babysitters there.

First care giver he went to ended up not working out due to I’m sure my over protectiveness but after having such an amazing experience with our first babysitter, my standards were set high and honestly she gave me confidence to expect more from people who would be caring for our child.

Second babysitter in AL was absolutely amazing and we loved her but go- figure they got orders to a different duty station. We did find another great babysitter for the remaining time we had in AL before we made our way to HI.

We have been in Hawai’i for almost a year now, and once again we were blessed to find an amazing care giver- I’m not sure if it’s my interviewing skills I have honed in on from being a military mom but thus far I have had great results.

Which has made this process easier for me and my anxiety but the search and lining up interviews with complete strangers is so exhausting at times and let’s be honest it’s always uncomfortable to meet new people and then expect them to take care of your child.

So, when you find someone who just gives you the warmest feeling the minute, they open the door and that feeling continues throughout the whole interview, it’s like a sign that I cannot ignore. She was a dream; our parenting styles were exactly the same and I trusted her completely.

. . . . But as our luck would have it, we would lose this babysitter as well . . .  

This video was after dropping him off at the newest care givers house. I just had a wave of guilt, stress and feeling overwhelmed because of how many times I’ve sent my child to a complete strangers’ house, praying I made a good and safe choice.

This baby sitter was also great but was only short term due to his availability so pierce is currently at the latest care giver we have found and it is looking great so far and I feel we may have found some stability with this daycare for our remaining time here (Fingers crossed) but you never know lol.

Sometimes the weight of living this military lifestyle can be hard to carry and this video shows one of those days.

. . . . . but this life has also given me so much strength and confidence in myself as a military spouse and a mom! . . . .

This is not the life I dreamt about when I was younger and thinking about growing a family, but this is the life I love. I do dream of a time where we will live in the same city as our family and our sons grandparents will be able to come to baseball games and birthday parties.

Right now I am a strong military spouse who sometimes cries in her car after a rough day but who will also wipe those tears away and conquer the day!